Media and Health Psychologist, Media Expert,
Award-Winning Author, Professional Speaker

How Do Dads Shape Your Life?

What is so important about Dads?

Traditionally, they have been known for their caring, breadwinning, helping with learning tasks, willingness to play and tumble with their children and forming attachments to them. These attachments allow the children to form strong attachments with their own families later in life.

How does their influence affect who you become?

The best fathers provide strong support with a lot of structure.  The support comes from such things as letting kids know that they are behind the child, cheering them on with their goals and ideas, and providing the backup that they need to make the child's dream come true. The parents of many of the American Idols were the ones who told the kids, "You can do it!" The structure means that rules are necessary, and that they should be maintained consistently. If getting a bad grade means that you are grounded for two weeks until the next test, then stick to your plan. Low structure and low support can lead to delinquent behavior or worse.

Activities with kids are not enough to produce a bond. During the activity, dads and kids must become engaged and involved and the activity must be purposeful. Driving a child to a ballgame is supportive, but talking in the car on the way, staying to watch the game and being there to address the outcome of the game is both supportive and nurturing.

Is their influence different from Mom's?

Moms are seen are the primary nurturers, with dads as the secondary nurturers. In most healthy families, both parents nurture and support the children.  Research suggests that often the support comes more from Dad and the nurturing comes more from Mom. The model seems to be a successful one for producing happy, healthy kids.

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